Today I did not eat left over chili for breakfast because, seriously, who does that? Not me.
Today I did not watch Oprah, so I have no idea that Mike Tyson actually has a sensitive side.
Today I did not spend three hours reading my favorite blogs, so my eyes are perfectly rested and I did not strain them in the least by staring at my bright computer screen all morning.
Today I did not snuggle up with Ali and her favorite stuffed animals and take a two hour nap.
Today I did not spent $126 at K-Mart, which did not include purchasing cat litter, socks for Ali, a Spongebob t-shirt for Ben and miscellaneous Halloween costumes for an upcoming Halloween party which we are not invited to.
Today I did not play the memory card game with my 5 year old daughter and she definitely did not beat me...twice.
Today I did not forget that Ben's class was having a party for his teacher's 40th birthday, so I did not stay in all afternoon napping while the other moms were volunteering at the party.
Today I did not rush to the store, with only 10 minutes to spare before the store closed, to pick up roast beef sandwiches for tonight's supper.
Today I did not get pulled over by the police rushing to pick up roast beef sandwiches and I most certainly was not issued a $75 speeding ticket because I was driving 45 m.p.h., when the speed limit was only 35 m.p.h.
Today I did not tell the young, good looking man in uniform that "I was just following everyone else ahead of me...." And he did not say "Ma'am, you were going fast....do you want to see the video?" I did not reply "No, thank you. I believe you." I also did not mumble under my breath, did you have to call me ma'am?
Today I did not watch the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Making the Squad and it did not make me want to go on a diet.
Today I did not eat a gigantic bowl of cereal after watching the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Making the Squad because that would just be weird.....chili for breakfast and cereal for a bedtime snack?
And, finally, today I did not tell a bunch of lies to my blog peeps.
Nope. Never happened. :)