.....you start counting down the hours to the kids' bedtime, and it's only 10:30 a.m.
.....you find yourself singing "clean up, clean up, everybody do their share" while vacuuming, even when there's no one else around.
.....you shave you legs before going grocery shopping because an hour at the store is your "night out on the town."
.....you get excited when a telemarketer calls because you are desperate for adult conversation, so you keep her on the line for a half hour but when she finally insists (for the hundredth time) that she MUST get back to work, before she hangs up, you beg her to "call me tomorrow, my new BFF!"
.....you can recite every word to every episode of Caillou.
.....you can totally relate to Caillou's mom because she wears the same outfit everyday and, sadly, so do you sometimes.
.....you hide in your bedroom closet when playing hide & seek with the kids and when they can't find you and they shout "come out, come out, where ever you are," instead of coming out, you stay in there for 45 minutes because you see this as an opportunity for a little "me time."
.....you can't eat your sandwich at lunch unless the crust is cut off and it's cut into four little triangles.
.....you have a blog.
.....you invite other stay at home moms on the block to your house for a wild and crazy afternoon of board games and then spend the whole evening telling your husband how lucky he is to be married to the new "Candyland" champ.
.....you refer to yourself as a domestic engineer.
.....you consider the DVD player man's greatest invention and can't imagine how moms before the 1990's ever survived motherhood without one and lived to tell about it.
.....you tell your husband that the only thing you want for your birthday is for him to take the kids somewhere, anywhere, for the day so you can have some peace and quiet but then you call him a half hour after he leaves and beg him to come home because the silence is deafening.
.....you put on your fancy sweat pants to run errands.
.....you intentionally flush a bucket of Legos down the toilet, just so the plumber has to come over and when he arrives at your house, you greet him with a cup of coffee and say "Soooo, how are you?? What have you been up to lately? So, how's the whole plumbing thing going for you? Sit, tell me ALL about it!"
.....you refuse to clean the little hand prints that adorn your living room windows because you see them as "artwork."
.....you consider the highlight of your day a heated game of "Go Fish" with your 5 year old.
.....you think they should make the first day of school a national holiday, complete with a ticker tape parade honoring those moms who survived summer vacation.
.....you can't call in sick to work because you are already there.
And, above anything else, you can be CERTAIN you are a SAHM if.....you FINALLY get out of the house by yourself for a little while and all you can think about is quickly getting back home because you miss your children.
Do you have any "you might be a SAHM if...." that you would like to share?